We are full of gratitude for the many blessings God has given us. He took us out of Egypt, drowned our oppressors, and gave us the manna. That’s where our new, less severe, more tiresome struggles began.
With the manna came the Kirby, a suction creature that eats all in its path. Some claim it has eaten children; I do not believe it to be so callous. The Kirby swallows everything edible in its path, which, unfortunately, includes the manna.
He does not give blessings to God. No, the pink ball only squeaks with an “‘Ayyyy!” or an “Eyyyy!” I believe I’ve heard it say “Hoyayo!” once, but I’m not to be trusted among my brethren on the matter.
Moses for his part has been lackadaisical on the matter. “What’s the worry,” he says, reclining while chewing a piece of manna. “God gave us a new test so soon, so let’s embrace it!”
“But Moses, the Jews need to eat manna too. My daughter has not been getting enough to eat. She grows weaker every day.”
Moses swallowed his manna. “Alright already, let me try something.” He bit into a new manna and waved me off.
Sabbath, a day that should be free of worry, causes me the most stress. Kirby eats twice the manna and grows ever the stronger. I’ve tried storing away my manna, but it just attracts worms. At this point, it’s better than nothing.
I tried talking to Aaron, but he’s busy with literally everyone else, trying to restore order between feuding individuals. I like him. He’s quite kind and knows how to foster peace. I like him. I would just like him more if I could talk to him about the Kirby.
Korah beckoned me to his tent. “Clearly Moses and Aaron have failed you. Don’t even bother with that Miriam. I’ll clue you in, friend. Talk to the Kirby. Reason with him. Moses and Aaron are weak. They fear the Kirby more than anyone. I, Korah, fear no creature, even if I were to get swallowed up! Approach the Kirby! Deny the brothers!”
He made sense, I thought, and went to Kirby’s stomping grounds.
“Kirby, my daughter needs to find sustenance on the manna. How will she grow if you keep swallowing her portion whole?”
Kirby looked at me with big sad eyes. He swallowed me in one gulp.
I felt… Odd. Like my very essence had merged with the Kirby’s own. Who was I? What was I? I felt his thoughts.
“Hungry… so hungry… must… feed…”
I understood the creature now, but I had become one with it, and it with me. What would my family say when they saw me?
“Ah, there you are.” It was Moses and Aaron. “No, wait. You’re not the guy. You’re the Kirby. Spit him out. We have something for you.”
In a motion faster than the eye can handle, I was released from my pink prison in an instant. Moses stood over me.
“Sorry, God wouldn’t let me dispose of the Kirby. He says it’s part of His greater plan. But He did give me this.” He held up a red fruit, or possibly a vegetable.
“It’s called a Maxim Tomato,” Aaron explained. “This one fruit will sate the Kirby’s appetite until he gets injured. But we have more.”
I felt the need to apologize to the brothers for doubting them, but it’s not as though they knew of my mistrust. I apologized regardless.
“We all make mistakes,” said Aaron.
“Yes,” said Moses. “Now go feed your family manna before it gets wormy.”
I started to run to my quarters when I stopped and turned to the Kirby. “Thank you, creature! You won’t be hungry any longer!”
The Kirby squeaked out something, but I couldn’t understand him. It sounded either like “You’re welcome” or “There are many more hardships for the Jewish people along the way. Be careful of pitfalls the Jews may fall through, okay? Ayyyy!”
Six of one, half a dozen of the other.